and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
