Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
