I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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