he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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