Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
