omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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