All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
