Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
