His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
