I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
