So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
