found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
