Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
