I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
