I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Buhtt sex?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Someone signed my nipple.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
