Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
