ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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