I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
