please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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