Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
