i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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