my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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