last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
