i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
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Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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