dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The power of my boobs compel you
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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