Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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