Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
