Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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