Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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