I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
