Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
