I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
