Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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