You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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