i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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