how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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