It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's shark week go big or go home
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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