You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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