I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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