just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
