What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize