Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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