your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm going to jail i love you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
