So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
