Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
