the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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