tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am spending my child support on dildos
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
