I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
