I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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