The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize