I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
