I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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