I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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