We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
