is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
