Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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