I hate your face
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
