Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
