cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
