You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize