are you still at the devil's house?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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