she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
