Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
