so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
